When Butterflies Die
by Adgie
Summary: Booth and Brennan are in highschool. Can Booth help her quit hurting herslef? Maybe hard T but it's not quite M. Story is better than the summary, I reuploaded the earlier chapters hopefully the errors are fixed.
1. Chapter 01

A.N. I'm sorry for making another self-harm story. It's something I'm personally struggling with right now. And in my story Temperance won't be so much of a creep as she was in The Death of the Queen Bee. Sorry if it's OOC anyway.** Oh and this isn't at Burtonsville.**

**B&B**

When Butterflies Die: Chapter 1

As long as Temperance Brennan could remember she never really fit in. In any of her schools. It was her sophomore year at a brand new school. With old clothes that smelled of plastic and deodorizer. Another name to put on the bottom of her shoe. This school wouldn't be any different than the last ones. She would be shunned here too she was sure of it. After searching for about 15 minutes, all of the first passing period, she found her first class. She had yet to find her locker so was forced to lug all of her books with her. She was adjusting the weight of her backpack and the books she was carrying to open the door when a much larger one reached around her and opened it. She looked behind her to see a tall, dark, brown-eyed boy who was smirking at her.

"Do you need help finding your locker, sexy?" She couldn't believe this boy!

"I'm quite capable of finding my locker myself, and I'd appreciate if in the future you refrained from objectifying me." She walked through the door he was still holding open and for good measure turned to him and told him that chivalry was dead. He didn't look happy about it. As if he didn't already know.

All throughout class she could feel eyes on her. She heard the whispers from the back. Some were vague and opaque and she couldn't really discern whether they were about her or not others were quite clearly about her. As usual she kept her mouth shut. She wouldn't validate them with a response. As the bell rang and the kids filed out of the classroom, she decided it would be less time consuming and a great deal less frustrating if she just asked the teacher where her locker was. As the teacher, Mr. Brown, gave her directions the same boy from earlier came back in the room, for what she didn't know, nor care.

She was right, asking for directions to her next class was a lot less time consuming. She wasted no time during the unnecessary break they gave the students in addition to a 5 minute passing period. As she entered the classroom occupied by only the teacher, Mr. Lloyd and picked a seat. He told her not to get her stuff out because he would be assigning seats. She couldn't help but notice how terribly coincidental today had been as that same tall, dark, brown-eyed boy from earlier waltzed in, an air of cockiness surrounding him. He must have felt his eyes on her because he glanced over at her catching her gaze before she turned away. He really was an attractive boy, but his confidence was overwhelming.

Mr. Lloyd, who seemed to enjoy giving himself and the class of Sophomore Physics a lengthy introduction and wanted nothing more than the students to do so too had all of the students go around and sign each other's papers based on experiences. It really made no sense to her, but she complied. Then he assigned seats. By alphabetical order. It just seemed fated that this boy be a constant of this particular day as he was to be her new lab partner for "at least the first semester". He seemed as dejected by the idea as she. At least she could put a name to the face now. Seeley. Odd name. No more odd than Temperance she reminded herself. Once everyone had settled and waited for the teacher to pass out their first real assignment Seeley turned to her. "So I thought you didn't need help finding your locker, Temperance."

His tone made her want to cringe. He was so full of himself. She had no desire to humor him so she kept quiet. He was quick to fill the silence she left. "You know if we're going to be lab partners you should really think about being more personable." That had never been a strong point of hers.

Turning to him she said "You should be thankful to have me as a lab partner. I have a very high IQ. I'm quite adept to science and math as well as English and History, although the latter two hold no relevance to this class." She said without a breath of modesty. Who's cocky now, Temperance?

"Well you really don't hold back, do you?" He said in a voice that hinted to nothing short of astonishment. And not the good kind.

"I don't believe in lying." She explained. He gave a disbelieving look but dropped the conversation.

They each silently looked over the assignment. It was meant to be completed together. To her surprise he actually helped out quite a bit with the assignment. He wasn't as stupid as he came across. He was actually quite pleasant. Temperance thought that maybe this time wouldn't be as bad.

**B&B**

A.N. So this is it for the first chapter. This has been floating around my head for a while. I couldn't sleep tonight so I thought "Why not now?" lol. Um I guess this is a good a place as any to stop. SH topic will probably present itself nest chapter. You've been warned!


	2. Chapter 2

B&B

When Butterflies Die: Chapter 2

Cautious. That's how he'd describe her. She was always aware of her surroundings. He watched her at her locker. He didn't even want to approach her. Something about her put him off, in his experience that usually wasn't a good thing. She knew he was there. He could see it in the way she held her shoulders. He slowly started towards her. He didn't know whether it was just inopportune timing on his part or immaculate timing on her part, but as he got close she started walking away from him. He hated the fact that he was going to have to chase after her.

"Temperance!" He yelled after her, dodging a few kids to catch up to her. She kept her eyes studiously ahead, her step not even faltering. Immaculately timed on her part, he decided. A month into school she still didn't talk much, as a result she had gained plenty of unpleasant nicknames and no friends. "Hey. Didn't you hear me calling you?" He said slightly annoyed and out of breath. Football practice was going to kick his ass this year. Finally she looked up to him fleetingly.

"Can I help you?" She said, obviously annoyed herself. He wondered what had gotten her knickers so permanently in a twist.

"Actually…" He said cryptically. What she said next he'll never understand what leap she took to get there.

"I don't perform fellatio nor plan on having sexual intercourse with anyone. Least of all you." Not even a hint of a blush. Man, he was really dreading the rest of this conversation and depending on her reaction, the next few weeks or months or whatever it took.

"Wow! Where'd that come from?" He said, clearly shocked. She merely glanced sidelong at him. He left no room for her to answer anyway. Rushing through this seemed the best option. "I was wondering if you would help me. I'm in a lot of different sports, as you probably know, and in order to keep my eligibility I have to keep my grades above a "D". " He said, hoping she would understand.

"Why should I help you?" She certainly was a tough nut to crack…

"Well…" He said ignoring her attitude. He needed this. "As you so adequately point out your good at everything, I'm not." He said, finally some of the ego deflating. She gave him an uncertain look. Ok, look, I'm not good at math, and I'm not good at science and I figured since we're already science partners you wouldn't mind giving me a little help. Obviously I already flunked Physics, I'm working towards a sports scholarship and this is really important to me, and I don't think there is anyone in this school as smart as you…" He explained. He looked at her and after his long-winded speech, her face softened a little.

"Alright, I'll help you." She conceded. That's all it took? Hmm, a little softer around the edges than she lets on? He gave her his best charm smile.

"I mean, I can't pay you or anything…" He trailed.

"All I want from you is dedication." She said then continued to her class, leaving him standing there.

He could give her dedication.

B&B

A.N. : Sorry about the wait. My muse hit me again. Criticism and suggestions always welcome. I don't know when the SH will rear it's ugly head, I'll give you a heads up in the AN on that chap. K? Thanks for reading.


	3. Chapter 3

B&B

When Butterflies Die: Chapter 3

Since he had asked her to help him, their interactions had been minimal, but their silences had grown comfortable. Two months into school everything was still fairly easy. It wasn't going to stay that way. They smiled at each other easily as the class filed into weekly homeroom. They never talked in homeroom, as if it were taboo or something. She was still as quiet as ever. He didn't understand that. Sure she was a little weird, but talking to other people just seemed like a basic necessity to him. He really hoped that would end, because he needed conversation other than scholarly conversation. Homeroom, while boring, flew by. Hopefully so would science. The class settled in, Mr. Lloyd gave his lecture of the day. Once Mr. Lloyd set the loose to the back of the class to do the experiments set out for them, he broached conversation. She absolutely would not talk to him during lectures. A perfect nerd.

"So, um, you know when I asked you for help with school work last month?" He said setting up their first experiment. Which involved taping two yardsticks together and a metal ball. She no doubt already understood the significance, which was already lost upon him.

"Yes." She said bluntly. Nothing else.

"Well… you know, I thought maybe now is a good time for me to, ya know, cash in on your generosity." She gave him a look that said 'apparently' as he was already taping the yard sticks together wrong.

"Ok, when do you want to start and when will you be available?" She said taking the yard sticks from him and correcting the mistake and starting the experiment. Which was apparently supposed to help them understand Newton's 1st law. He could see it a little bit after she explained a little bit. He was lucky to have her as his partner, he supposed.

"I have practice after school Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. I'm always free during Eagle Time though."

"Tuesdays and Thursdays after school are fine but I have Book Cub during Eagle time on Tuesday and History Club on Wednesdays."

"Can we meet at the library on the days we meet after school?" She inquired.

"Funny. I was going to ask the same thing." He said. He wasn't lying. Although his father was long gone, he'd always had this deep-seated fear about people coming over. Whether it was because his dad never allowed it when he was younger or the thought he might just show up one day, he didn't know.

"So Monday, and Fridays at Eagle time? And Thursdays after school?" He nodded in the affirmative. "What about homeroom, since we only have it on Fridays?" They had never talked in homeroom, maybe for him it would be, weird, or awkward, or detrimental to his image. By the way he was thinking so intensely about the question, she knew he was hesitant to agree.

"Ah, I don't know about homeroom… I mean all my buddies are in there with me…" He said, uncertain. He saw what may have been a flash of hurt, or anger, it was certainly an unpleasant emotion, flash briefly across her eyes. He wanted to apologize and say something along the lines of "I didn't mean it like that." But to some extent he had. She was warming up, but to everyone else she was still 'that weird girl' then he thought back to when he first asked her. "All I want from you is dedication…" Finally, he nodded his head. Dedication. It was going to take a lot of that. Maybe patience too. He thought turning back to the partially forgotten experiment.

B&B


	4. Chapter 4

A.N. First mention of SI in this chapter. Ok? Enjoy though.

B&B

When Butterflies Die: Chapter 4

The first time they met, during the unnecessary 20 minute break between 1st and 2nd block that they called 'Eagle Time", It was awkward, strained. She had never taught anyone and he had never been tutored, but by that Thursday, they had acclimated to the new change to their schedules. Reluctantly they were admitting to themselves that this was going a lot better than expected. The first time they had met in homeroom he told his buddies that he was going to sit with her, there were some grumbles, so protests, some shocked faces, and surprisingly some whistles of approval. He objected to them all. Although it was more for his image than hers.

This particular Thursday the teacher, Mrs. Bordeaux, decided to poison them with a huge packet of triangles that the Apothem must be found for, and correctly. It was an all-or-nothing assignment. For their first big test. He had been sitting in the library for 20 minutes now, at there usual table, waiting for her. He wondered where she was. She was never late. If there was anything she prized, it was punctuality. He thought maybe he should be worried. But then, that wasn't really his place was it? He still couldn't classify what they were. Acquaintances? No. Hadn't been for some while. Friends? If they were he didn't know it. Teacher and Pupil, that defines them, he thought. He saw her rushing through the library towards him, setting his feuding mind to rest on the subject. He face looked a little blotchy, red in places, her eyes look a little puffy. From the cold and having to rush in it probably.

"Sorry, I'm late." She was already apologizing. Sitting beside him to his right, getting her things out as she calmed her breathing. Obviously no intention offering no more in the way of explanation. He wasn't going to pry. She set her things hurriedly on the table, trying to make up for lost time. Leaning forward she just as quickly pulled her coat off. She must have been in a hurry when she put it on, not bothering to do the trick you learn as a child where you hold your sleeves so they don't ride up your arms inside your coat. The sleeves of her hoodie bunched around her elbows and just below the edge of the sleeve, were angry red slashes, dark red tinting them. Newly scabbed scratches. If they could be called that. Some were silvery with age, some were young slightly inflamed. There weren't many but, It didn't take many, did it? She snatched the sleeve down, once she noticed it was exposing the marred skin. "Cat." She said simply as explanation. He knew she was lying, but what could he do? What right did he have to say anything?

"Let's gets started." He said. She looked relieved. She also looked resigned. Resigned to the fact that no one ever asked. He pushed it out of his mind as she started on a pretty intense lesson on Apothems and Pythagorean Theorem. They had gotten half of the packet done by the time they had to leave. It was already dark and they both had people waiting for them at home. As they were packing up she stopped suddenly at looked at him. Looked him right in the eyes. Something else new today. She was searching him. Then her expression changed. It took on a darker tone. She looked at him, a plea and acquiescence in her eyes. "Don't tell anyone." Her pale blue eyes with a hazel center seemed to say. She didn't have to ask. He wouldn't say anything. We all have our demons. He certainly has his. The acquiescence though, knew for a fact that this would be it for them. That he'd never talk to her again unless forced to. She believed what people said. She was a freak. Even if he hadn't grown a soft spot for her, he would have stayed, He knew he needed her now.

"Do you want me to walk you home?" He said. Always the gentleman. The surprise in her eyes was palpable. So was the doubt. The worry.

"I thought I told you chivalry was dead…? " She said almost shyly. A joke. A genuine joke or a joke as part of her masquerade of strength, it was still a joke. This was a day to be marked on calendars.

"Aww, come on." He said nudging her with his shoulder. "It's not entirely 's true, I guess. That I'm a vanishing breed. Some girls would chew off their own arms for a little bit of chivalry and all you have to do is spend your extra time with me…" He said, only a smidgen of modesty. She wanted to punch the cocky out of him. Then the charm smile. She couldn't beat down the smile that crept on her own face with a bat. "So…?" He said, implying the question upon her again.

"No, I really don't live that far; I think I'll make it." She said the last bit with sarcasm. There was something else. Otherwise she would have said her farewells already. He knew what it was. She needed absolution.

"See ya tomorrow." He said, hearing a much silkier voice as an undertone. Although hers was posed as a question, his as a statement. They walked out together, She said goodbye and he waved. They gathered themselves for the onslaught of cold, then parted ways, heading to their respective homes.

B&B


	5. Chapter 5

When Butterflies Die: Chapter 5

She knew from the moment she turned the handle tonight would be a bad one. She heard the footsteps long before she saw the man. They were pounding down the stairs as she set her stuff in the designated spot. When she looked up again he was practically seething in front of her.

"Where have you been!" He bellowed down at her. He was a decent foot or so taller than her. She knew not to answer yet. "We have been sitting here waiting and worrying about you!" He yelled. Worry isn't the word, she thought defiantly. Apparently she had missed her cue to talk because suddenly she felt the grip of his sizable hand on her upper arm, jerking her to look at him. Good thing she was strong headed otherwise looking him in the eye, as he required, would have been a challenge.

"I'm only 20 minutes late! I told you I was tutoring after school today!" She practically screamed at him yanking her arm out of his grasp. The would no doubt be a bruise there in the morning. Suddenly his hand flew up, flattening out along the way and holding it above her. She wouldn't flinch, she promised herself. His hand stopped along the descent. His expression changing. He wanted to do it. He really did, but something was stopping him. Probably the fact that she couldn't go to school with a huge bruise across her face tomorrow. His hand fell to his side. Deciding to go a different route. He pushed her into the kitchen watching he fall to her hands and knees "Go do your chores!" He spat at her. Of course she obeyed. She would stand up for herself but she wouldn't ask for trouble. Cleaning the dishes and scrubbing the floor, her only thoughts were of getting out of this place. 4 homes she had been to. Child Services was reluctant to place her in another home any time soon.

As she made her way upstairs she wondered if she was in over her head helping Seeley. He was smart, caught on fast, he was fairly nice if not arrogant in some aspects, and he paid attention. She just didn't know if she had the extra time with her chores, and he AP classes. As long as he was in for the long haul, so was she.

She sat tiredly on her bed, pulling her jacket off and looking down at her arms. She couldn't believe how careless she had been today. She knew Seeley hadn't believed her when she said a cat had scratched her. She wondered if maybe he knew that was her reason for being late today. She always pretended they didn't, but the names, the things people think she doesn't hear. The insults, the judgment they pass on her… It gets to her. On the way to the library to meet up with him she had seen two girls from her school. Rudeness had never been part of her nature, even if her bluntness said something to the contrary. She smiled at them as they past, the taller, brunette leaning down and whispering, none too quietly, into her friends ear "Oh my God, It knows how to smile." She wondered if they knew she heard them. Somehow she doubted they'd even care. She stopped at a gas station and asked for the key sat in the bathroom for 10 minutes and cried as she used her school scissors to dig into her flesh. She watched the crimson bead out. It wasn't much blood, the scissors weren't very sharp, but it was enough. She wiped her face, put her scissors back into her pack and gave the key back to the cashier and carried on, rushing to get to the library.

Temperance pulled open her nightstand drawer, a razor gleaming up at her. She picked it up gingerly, then stood, pushing her pants to just above her knees. As she pushed the razor into the inside of her thigh the tears started anew. They were not tears of physical pain but for the mental and emotional anguish. It wasn't deep enough, she tried again. Then five more times. She watched the blood trailing down her leg through the tears that were threatening to overwhelm her eyes. And they did, a teardrop falling on her leg and mingling with the blood sending it down her leg faster. She got her rag out of the nightstand and pressed it to her wounds. 15 minutes later she couldn't deny the fatigue she felt. As she stood to put her pajamas on she felt the new wounds protest to the change in position. She changed then lay in bed, her pajamas already snagging at the new scabs. Something she found displeasing.

'Tomorrow is Friday…" She smiled at the thought as she drifted into sleep.

A.N.: Ok. I'm always open to suggestions and I'd really love to hear your thoughts. What you like and what you don't like, what could make the story better? I'm writing but the lack of feedback kind of makes me nervous. I've done a few chapters in advanced but if there's something that can be done differently, now would be the time to tell me so that amendments can be made before I upload.

As always thanks for reading!


	6. Chapter 6

When Butterflies Die: Chapter 6

Friday morning they decided to meet in the school library. It seemed like libraries were their hangout of choice lately. She liked to think it was because it was quieter, and the odd looks from people were not as copious. She found it odd that she was so comfortable with him. He didn't really judge her. Well he had, when they first met she assumed, just as she had judged him, but he actually gave her a chance. People tended not to do that for her. How could that not make her let down her guard a little bit. They walked to the library in silence, they shoulders brushing slightly. "I finished the packet last night, I was just hoping maybe we could go over them…?" He said as they reached the doors and he pulled them open letting her walk through as she nodded her agreement. As they sat she tried to sit as gingerly as possible without being obvious. He gave her an appraising look as she sat.

"You ok?" He asked. Maybe he didn't know exactly why but he knew something on her was hurting. This was the part she hated. After she found relief at the edge of a blade, she found discomfort the next day. Her pants would aggravate the jaggedly formed scabs and the itch was barely suppressible.

"Yes." She said simply.

"That cat again?" Cryptic, she usually didn't do cryptic but she sure as hell understood the meaning this time. He actually looked genuinely concerned. That was something her year in foster care had taught her. People don't care. That squelched any thought she had of letting him in on anything.

"My pants just don't fit properly, ok?" She said, sounding testy. He put his hand up in surrender. "Let's just look this over…" She said taking the packet from him. She looked it over thoroughly then turned to him smiling. "Out of the 52 problems that you did on your own you only got 12 wrong. That is very good. You learn fast." She praised. Was it weird she was proud?

"Yea, you know… Student, teacher. Student. Teacher." He said pointing between the both of them. Even before her parents left, she never really had any friends. She certainly had none now, but here, with him staring at her like that, the expression surely mirrored on her face, it was nice to have this facsimile.

She pulled herself out of her reverie and cleared her throat, he diverted his eyes momentarily. "So, just rework the problems and I'll take a look at them again on Monday. " She told him, Taking the worksheets back and circling the missed problems, still recovering from her slight blunder. They wouldn't see each other again until then.

"This is due 1st period Monday. We never see each other before then." He said, reminding her. Dammit. Now what. "I could come over to your house or so-"

"No!" She said cutting him off. He didn't miss the panicked look in her eyes. He knew that look, all too well. "If you want to meet over the weekend we can go to the library or somewhere, ok?"

"Ok" He said understandingly "I have a game tomorrow though. Sunday?" He asked with a foreign hopefulness in his voice. Pathetic, Seeley.

"Sunday will be fine." She hoped, anyway. You never know with these foster parents. She wrote her number on a piece of paper then tore it off clipping it to the packet and handing it back. 'Tempe' She wrote not 'Temperance'. She gathered her bag and they headed back to homeroom to check in before it was let out.

"Do you prefer Tempe?" He asked her.

"I just think 'Temperance' is a bit of a mouthful. You can call me whatever you want though." She said giving him a small smile with it.

"I like Temperance, kinda rolls off the tongue…" She gave him an odd look.

"If you say so" she said as she reached to door, determined to open it before he did. They gave the teacher their passes back went to sit down. She was surprised when he sat down next to her, instead of with his friends. He didn't seem to notice though. He didn't notice the whispers behind them gaining in intensity either.


	7. Chapter 7

Seeley was certain, when he woke up this morning, it would be a good day. It wasn't particularly warm, but then again it was the middle of October. It also wasn't freezing. It was like a perfect 45 degrees, with lots of cloud cover. He enjoyed days like this. Nothing extreme. The game today was against a team pretty much their equal. Seeley was a better quarterback though.

The ride to the opposing teams school was fraught with excitement, testosterone, and arrogance. He was caught up in it. The basking ended when the conversation turned toward him and Temperance. "So, Booth." John, their wide receiver, addressed him. " Are you close?" Seeley decided to play dumb.

"Close to what, exactly?" Playing dumb may have been a bad idea, he realized as they had the entire football team's undivided attention.

"Getting in the new girl's pants. What else, man?" Seeley's hands fisted. All these morons cared about was sex. Yeah, it was important but it wasn't everything.

"John, are you any closer to the door of that closet you're hiding in?" It was harsh, but it effectively shut him up. Not the rest of the team though. To them his lack of a straightforward answer just meant he wasn't. That he couldn't crack 'the nut'. Rounds of teases and questions floated around him and he tried to combat them all. Finally he got his "It's not like that, I'm not trying to have sex with her." In and the teasing stopped and they all looked at him like his cheese had slid off his cracker.

"Then why…" Peter said, letting it trail. The question implied.

"She's tutoring me, I told you guys that." Their faces still were a little shocked.

"We just thought… ya know. You were just saying that to her… or maybe us, she's a lot a bit of a freak, man."That almost got his blood boiling. Wow these guys were shallow. Sometimes so was he but… that's a low he didn't think he'd stoop to. Well maybe, but not with her. She was stubborn and strong headed a lot like him. It wouldn't work anyhow, if he had tried.

"Ok, she not the type of girl you guys are used to. You know the type whose legs repel each other and you don't know what their backs look like 'cause they're always on 'em." By what he could only assume was the hand of God, Tony sprang to life, remembering a story about a girl named Jessica, successfully diverting attention from him. Good thing too because he was about ready to rip someone's head off.

Booth was pissed. Lost by a field goal. He couldn't believe it. It was his fault they lost. He hadn't been completely focused on the game, it wasn't that his focus was elsewhere he just couldn't seem to get his head fully into the game. Pops, of course, was trying to make him feel better in his own way. He wasn't doing very well. Jared was absolutely no help. He was at an age where he knew the game but not that after emotions kinda ran high if you lost. Especially by one stinkin' field goal. He couldn't blame the kid. He didn't know better.

Sleep was hard to come by that night. Getting there at least. He had laid awake for hours with thoughts running through his head until exhaustion finally took over.


	8. Chapter 8

A.N.: I really appreciate the reviews guys. Like it's disgusting how I crave them lol Oh well on chapter 7 I was asked for longer chapters. I hope this will do. The next few chapters are pretty long... As far as I remember anyway. THANKS FOR STICKING WITH ME!

* * *

When Butterflies Die Chapter 8

Today, was probably not going to be a good day. Seeley's head hurt, and he was still gloomy from the loss yesterday. He looked at the clock. 10:13a.m. Sunday, October, 17. A good time to wake up, he supposed. He shuffled downstairs looking for food. Heading to the fridge his foot hit the edge of his bookbag, displacing it. He bent over to pick it up and put it back when he realized he hadn't even started reworking the problems and he was supposed to meet Temperance today. He quickly grabbed a bowl of cereal grabbing his bookbag and heading back upstairs. He got upstairs and made calling Temperance his first order of business, to confirm time and place. He couldn't even explain why he was nervous.

"Hello?" A female voice answered. He knew it was hers. Wasn't pretty enough. In fact it was gravelly. And not the sexy gravelly. The kind that sounds like you've been smoking too long.

"Uhm. Hello? May I speak to Temperance?" He waited for a response.

"Yeah, Hold on" The voice said. She sounded almost irritated. He heard her call for Temperance and the muffled sounds of her handing over the phone and telling her to make it quick, in a recognizable irritated tone.

"Hello?" She said. It was amazing how different people sounded over the phone sometimes.

"Hey, I was wondering if we could still meet up somewhere?" Silence.

"Yea, sure, where would you like to meet up?" She asked hoping for somewhere far from where she was at.

"Where do you live?" He asked. He heard her stammering and quickly amended. "So we can find somewhere maybe in the middle?"

She told him her address and he couldn't help but marvel at how close she actually was to him. About a 15 minute bike ride. "There's a park, Evans, Do you know where it is?"

"Yes.." She said tentatively.

"Well I just figured you know, The sun is out, it looks nice out, and it doesn't seem like there's any wind. It would be nice to just sit and absorb the Great Outdoors. We always go to the library."

"Ok. " She conceded, "A change of scenery would be nice."

"I haven't been outside yet but, maybe just a hoodie or something will be fine." He heard thegravelly voiced woman say something.

"What time?" Temperance asked.

"12:00 is that good for you?"

"Yes, See you then." He barely had time to say goodbye before she hung up.

Even as he settled down into doing his problems he still couldn't focus. His mind would wander, to pretty much anything other than math. The bus ride to the game. The game. Just Temperance. His scholarship and how fragile it is. Everything but math.

Finally about 11:30 he just gave up and told his grandpa he was heading out to meet Temperance and told Jared he'd be back later. He made it to the park at 11:53. Sitting at the table for parents here to watch their kids. It was an unusually warm day for October. He just chocked it up to Global Warming. He heard her footsteps and turned to greet her as she sat beside him.

"Hey." She said reaching over for his packet. No time for small talk apparently. Her brow furrowed as she looked it over. When she looked up her expression was tepid. "Did you even try?" She asked. Well, straight to the point.

"I tried, I just couldn't focus." He said, feeling slightly wounded. Of course he tried. She asked him to walk him through one of the problems so she could show him how to correct the step he was missing. As he was reworking the problems she watched carefully over him.

"How was the game?" only diverting her eyes momentarily from the worksheet. If he could care about her, even if it was just an illusion as her brain told her it was, she could return the favor. He looked up at herm the pencil stopping mid character. His jaw clenched minutely.

"We lost. By 1 point." He said. She felt the need to apologize.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to upset you…" She said awkwardly.

"No, it's ok. It's just that it was my fault." She didn't know what to say. He was opening up to her and it was a new, and quite frankly, scary. When she didn't say anything he went on dismissing it. "It wasn't an important game or anything, it just sucks. Losing, you know?" No. She didn't know. She had never lost at anything. Not when she put her mind to it. She wanted to apologize again, but the first attempt was poor enough. She opted for smiling sadly at him when he looked at her. She hoped it looked apologetic. "My pops you tried to comfort me on the way home but… it kind of didn't help."

"Pops?" She asked, opening up a whole new can of worms.

"Pops. My grandfather. He took us in after my dad bailed on us a couple of years ago. My mom was having a hard time. It was best." He said, trying to explain.

"In China, it's common for 3 generations to live in the same home" She said. He didn't know where it came from but, somehow, it helped. "You have siblings?"She queried, thinking back. He had said 'us' She looked a little sad.

"One. A little brother. His name is Jared. A real pain in my ass." He chuckled a little and she smiled.

"What about you? Siblings?"

"Russ. He's 20 now. I haven't seen him in a while."

"Oh, so you're pretty much an only child now" He had no idea. "Your mom seemed… nice enough… on the phone." He said, having trouble finding words to describe her. Temperance suddenly got up. She couldn't sit anymore. She was becoming restless. She went to the swings and sat. At least it would give her legs something to do. She thought briefly of just going 'home' but she'd rather be here, in this uncomfortable position, telling this boy she hardly knows something she hasn't told anyone else, than be at home getting 'slapped around', she had heard a social worker call it once. She needed, wanted, to tell someone. Him, to be more precise.

He sat on the swing beside her, his mouth moving to speak but she cut him off.

"She's not my mother." She said, her eyes misting over. "I haven't seen my parents for almost a year. One day they went out, they said they were going Christmas shopping. But they never came back. By New Years I was in foster care." Now it was his turn to be speechless. So he did the only thing he could think of, reaching across the gap to her lifelessly hanging hand and held on to it. She lifted her head and looked at him a minute. Then turning away and wiping her tears away. "Sorry." She apologized." I.. I" She stammered. Struggling for words. Finally she settled on "I'm sorry" again.

"Hey." Said getting up and kneeling in front of her and hooking his finger underneath her chin, forcing her to look at him. "You have absolutely nothing to apologize for." He said adamantly. "We have stuff handed to us that we have to figure out how to handle as we move forward."

"I didn't need to burden you with my problems." She said pretty sheepishly.

"I told you something today that I have never told anyone before, so, we'll just call it even, ok?" Thinking back he really had no idea why he did. It just felt right.

"Ok." She smiled a little, only slightly watery. He moved behind her and she felt him grab the chains and pull. "What are you doing?" she asked. Her voice holding a little panic.

"Just swing. Trust me." He said pulling her a little higher then pushing her forward. Repeating until she started pumping herself. He ran out from behind he and got on his swing, catching up to he height quickly. He betted her he could go higher than her. Hoping she would accept the challenge. She did. Laughing. And he did go higher than her, until his chain slacked and he plopped to the bottom, his face conveying nothing but a perverse, enjoyed terror. Her laughter washed over him as they both slowed to a stop. He gave her a mock glare which only made her laugh harder.

Clutching her stomach, gasping for air she stuttered out "You. Yo. You. should have s-seen your face!" 'Face' dying out on a snort. He couldn't help the laugh that bubbled out of him too. They sat there laughing like 5 year olds until he saw his papers flapping slightly in the wind and her remembered they actually had a goal today. He got up from his swing and pulled her hand. He looked at her. She looked better than she did 20 minutes ago.

"You feel better?" He asked, and she nodded, still chuckling a bit. He nodded with her adding a "Me too."

She looked at him as they sat. It was weird she was so at ease with him. Maybe he was as at ease with her, she thought. He told her something no one else knew. He trusted her with that. Her mind had drifted, she hadn't even noticed his work was ready to be checked again until she felt him staring at her. She looked down from the spot over his shoulder and caught his eye. It was another moment, just like the one in the library, where she just couldn't look away. "Thank you, Seeley." She said although she doubted he knew the extent of her thanks.

He smiled, a charming smile, but not a charm smile. This was no place for an ego. "You welcome, Tempe." He said handing over his packet, still holding her gaze.

* * *

A.N: just one quick question. I'm scared of dialogue because Temperance Brennan is one hard character to get a grip on. But I need to know if we need more dialogue or if we're good?


	9. Chapter 9

When Butterflies Die Chapter 9

After the day at the park, it was more than just a teacher/pupil relationship. It was a connection bonded from a deep understanding that most would probably never understand. They were friends. The days melded into one another. Days with him she could hardly tell apart now. He called her to ask to go to the local diner when he knew she was working too hard on her homework. "I need a break" He would always tell her. She knew it was for her. He knew when to push a subject and when to let it drop. She had never had anyone know her so wholly in her life. She was glad for it. She was terrified of it.

Life had handed her a great deal of agony in this last year. This house was all of it doubled. Watching as the crimson liquid flow out of her body and the tiny euphoria that followed was her only salvation to escape it when she was at home. It was something that she welcomed. She always cried after. Every time. Whether she was crying before or not. She never thought of harming herself when she was with Seeley. Every thought was of him, and she was happy. She wondered what he'd think of her looking at her now, her hand shaking from a rush of chemicals coursing through her body, tears rolling down her face, blood dipping off her leg and her head lolled back against the wall behind the toilet, and a small smile on her face. Disgust. That's probably what he'd think…

He didn't think of his mom much anymore. His mind occupied with school and sports, and his silly little brother. But today, he thought of her. He thought of the way she would walk around the house singing little tunes, trying to get them to work into a measure of music. As she got older her voice lost some of it cadence, the stress and unhappiness, he figured, but it had gained timbre, it was always beautiful. Before Pops had taken them, the singing in the house had grown scarce. She only sang when she needed to, when it was required to finish a job. Or on particularly bad days, at night, she'd come into their room and she would sit on his bed, and silently wave Jared over. He would sit in her lap and she would rock him back and forth, holding tightly onto Seeley's hand.

"Poor butterfly  
'neath the blossoms waiting  
Poor butterfly  
For she loved him so  
The moments pass into hours  
The hours pass into years  
And as she smiles through her tears  
She murmurs low  
The moon and i  
Know that he'll be faithful  
I'm sure he'll come back  
By and by  
But if he don't come back  
I just must die  
Poor butterfly" She would sing. He still remembered all the words. Back then he hadn't understood the words just the tone of his mom's voice. Like she was serenading God as their prayer of refuge. After Jared was asleep and she placed him back in his bed, kissed him on the forehead, never leaving without smoothing his longish hair out of his face, staring into his eyes for a moment, kissing him as well then leaving, He would hear her in the bathroom across the hall continuing her song in lamentation. Sometimes, he thought, that song saved his mother. He tried to imagine her singing it now. I wondered if she still sang it. He hoped she did.

Sometimes in subtle ways, Temperance reminded him of his mother. The way she walked, sometimes the way she looked into his eyes, but mostly when, on the good days she would just sing. It was under her breath but he could still hear it. Unlike his mother she had both cadence and timbre simultaneously. She would sing a lot of songs he didn't know; sometimes she sang a few he did. But the words didn't matter, just the voice.

He thinks his mom would understand Temperance in the moments when he couldn't. She always understood him in the moments he needed it most. He missed her. Seeley had acclimated to her slower pace every couple of days, her tentative steps, and gentle shifting. But soon every few days turned into every other day, now the days were clumped together. Their last visit to the diner, the wince as she sat, and the gasps as she fidgeted were lost on neither of them. She couldn't have missed the concern on his face but she gave it no credence. He wished he could ask his mother what to do.

He lay on his bed letting the gentleness of the sunlight streaming through his window and warming his stomach as he closed his eyes. "What do I do, Mom?" He asked of course he didn't expect a response but the thought of just speaking to her again was nice. He hadn't actually talked to her since her phone was shut off, she called Pops when she could from a pay phone, to let them know she was ok, but collect calls were expensive, and talking time was short. The cold autumn wind picked up and threw itself against his window just then, forcing his eyes to snap open. The wind calmed and he looked around his room. He was bored. He wondered what Tempe was doing. He should call her. He was walking over to his desk, for the telephone when he remembered the keepsake box on his closet shelf. Detouring to grab it, he decided a quick jaunt down memory lane wouldn't hurt.

Dialing Tempe's number and listening to it ring, he opened the box. There were pictures of him and Jared being young and rowdy as little boys usually are, Their baby pictures 'Jared was such a cute baby' he thought, their dad, their mom holding them and playing with them. He was so caught up in his pictures he almost didn't hear her answer. He recovered quickly "You hungry?" he asked.

"Starvin' like Marvin" She replied. He chuckled at that. He had taught her that. It was cute she didn't know slang terms that everyone else knew. She knew a few but for the most part she was clueless.

"Meet me at 1:00?" he asked

"1:15?" She asked in return. "I will be done with this assignment in about 15 minutes and I don't see the logic in leaving something so close to done undone." She was obviously conditioned the "why" questions now, offering explanation before needing to be asked.

"1:15 it is then." Saying their farewells and hanging up. He was surprised her foster parents didn't object more to her going out. As long as she got her chores done he supposed it didn't matter to them. He was near the bottom of the box now. He actually had stopped paying attention to what he was doing while he was on the phone. Picking up the pictures and envelopes to put back, one envelope fell into his lap, dislodged by its weight. He never looked in the envelopes, always figured they were some lovey-dovey sappy crap his mom had thrown in for him to keep safe. Looking inside he found a note in his mother's handwriting. 'You always were good at keeping your brother safe, at being the protector. Don't change, Seeley. P.S. I know you will understand the significance of this. It was my favorite.' The letter read. He looked into the envelope and pulled out a butterfly with transparent jewels for wings surrounded by a metal wire frame to hold them in place and a metal body to hold it all together. It was gaudy, but he could see the beauty she found in it.

He lifted the pendant to above his window so that the light from the sun would shine through it into his room. Pulling his hand away he stopped the colors translated onto the skin of his wrist from the light in his room. The idea was so clear in his mind. Looking at the clock realizing it was already almost 1:00 he pulled his hand back, whispering "Thanks, mom." into the air. He grabbed his coat yelling to Pops that he was leaving and he'd be back later on his way out.


	10. Chapter 10

A.N: I'm stuck on Chapter 11 so this might be the last chapter for a while. Sorry.

anyway. I hope you enjoy chapter 10!

* * *

When Butterflies Die Chapter 10

She was late again. Only by 5 minutes but late was late. He would forgive her. There were a lot of things she forgot to take into account. Such as the fact that she couldn't ride her bike and like the fact that her legs would slow her down after her 'spree' last night. After walking for a couple of minutes she stopped even being able to feel her legs or the wounds between them. "You'd think" she mused silently "that would make one move faster, but frozen legs and arrested joints prove otherwise." As the diner came into view she pusher her legs to move faster.

When she sat down he told her he already ordered for them. She always got the same thing. "Did you get your work done?" He asked, knowing she did. She wouldn't be here right now otherwise.

"Yes." She said "It took a little longer than I thought. She wondered if he knew she was lying, if he did he said nothing, instead just smiling at her and calling her a nerd. It didn't hurt coming from him.

She shifted, resisting the urge to scratch her new formed scabs. She knew he didn't like her 'cutting'. When she did it though, it helped. Whether only for a moment or longer it helped. Admittedly in the long term it made no rational sense.

"Why do you do it?" he asked. It almost sounded like an accusation. I wasn't just simple curiosity. She didn't want to have this conversation, but what was the point in avoiding it. They would have it sooner or later, and right now he didn't look like he would give it up. So she told him what she had just been thinking.

"It helps." She said simply. He just looked at her, he expected her to go on. He wasn't asking but there seemed no room for argument. "When they hit me, or call me names, or tell me I'm worthless, it helps… emerging science says It's just a rush or endorphins flooding my system, inducing euphoria. Its temporary, but if I can make the pain go away. Even temporarily, isn't it worth it?" The waitress thought now would be a perfect time to bring out their food. Chipping slightly away at the moment. He was determined to hold onto it, saying their thanks as she walked away.

"Endorphins?" Right now he was wishing he was just a little bit smarter when it came to science. He had bigger fish to fry.

"Endogenous Opioid Peptides, They give you a sense of well-being, I guess simply put they make you happy, technically, you're a little bit high." She looked happy that the conversation had diverted away from her.

"I feel happy when I'm with you…" He said a tad sheepishly. She didn't really know how to respond. That was completely new to her. Never in her life(other than her parents) had anyone said anything even remotely like that before.

"I feel happy with you too." Honesty is the best policy. Or so they say.

"So, why…?" She got where he was going with this.

"I'm not with you all the time, Seeley, I do have to go home and there, I'm not happy" She said. He smiled sadly at her. He knew that feeling.

"You know you can call me… anytime, right? I have my own phone line in my room." She nodded 'yes', easier said than done. Her foster parents had a cut off time. She wouldn't use the phone unless it was an emergency.

"Want to play a game? " He asked, having switched gears seemingly fast, she nodded.

"What game?"

"Well technically I have no name for it but my bother and I brother play it, we sit and draw "tattoos" on each other and you can't look until the person is finished." She eyed him warily but agreed anyway.

"You go first." He said, picking up the pen the waitress left on the table and handing it to her, diverting his eyes out the window. He felt her pull his arm practically flat across the table. After, about, a minute he couldn't resist, he tried to turn his head stealthily to look at what she was drawing. No such luck.

"No peeking!" She cried with mock indignation smacking her hand across his arm hiding her drawing. He tried the charm smile, that didn't work either. He turned back to the street, she turned back to her drawing, smiling. A few minutes later she put his had back near him and told him he could look. He gawked at his arm. Finally something she wasn't a pro at.

"What is it?" he asked, she looked at him as though he'd lost his mind.

"A lion!" she said, sounding hurt, he knew she wasn't though.

"Oh I see, it now. Actually… that's not a bad drawing…" He mumbled still admiring her art work. She was no Picasso, and the lion was cute. Lions aren't supposed to be cute. "My turn!" he said. Hers didn't take long, it really wasn't much. A few lines and a few bubbles and… voila! He told her to open her eyes. She opted for closing them instead of craning her neck at odd angles.

"Butterflies?" He knew her favorite animals were dolphins, and she had no real affinity for butterflies. She looked at him questioningly.

"My mom really liked them." He started explaining. "I just figured, whenever you want to… ya know" he gestured pointlessly at her legs. She already knew. "you just draw butterflies on your arm, and if you…"pointless gesturing again. "you'll kill the butterflies." Guilt. Something Catholics know well. "and you can't scrub them off, they have to come off naturally."

"Why?"She said treading on harshly. No one ever cared before, why should he? She tried to think bitterly, it didn't quite make it. He looked up from the "interesting" spot on the table then.

"Because to me, you're not any name other than yours, you're beautiful and brilliant." He said grabbing her hand across the table to hold the gaze she tried to shift away as her eyes misted over. "And you are definitely not worthless." He squeezed her hand, tugging it a little to convey his sincerity. "You. .worthless." he reiterated. Holding her eyes for a moment longer then letting go. She gave him a watery smile and nodded her head. She would try not to kill her butterflies. He looked up, it would be getting dark soon and while he didn't want to say goodbye just yet, he even more vehemently didn't want her walking home alone in the dark, or getting in trouble. He didn't know which possible situation was worse.

"Do you want me to walk you home?" He asked her as they walked to the door. He already knew what her answer would be.

"No." she declined, much more pleasantly than times before. This day already seemingly taken it's toll on her, and she not knowing what her foster parents reactions would be, she was going to play it safe. He gave her a hug, because she looked like she needed it, and made promise to call when she got home. He stood watching her for a few minutes as she walked home, finally turning and heading his own way.


	11. Chapter 11

A.N: Why do bad things happen? So have a way to start a chapter that's been giving me hell. I know you guys want them longer and I'm also sorry it took so long to update but right now is kind of a turbulent time. In about 2 weeks I may start updating quickly again and I'll try to make the chapters even longer. I have the outline for chapter 12 already but right now I just don't have the free time to write steadily. You may see other little stories from me though. Writing is now my escape now. I hope I can hold you interest for a little bit longer with this story. I sincerely hope you stick around until the end. Thank you.

* * *

When Butterflies Die: Chapter 11

It was so dark. Like an infinite abyss. Holding her hand 5 inches away from her face and only seeing the largest of the features on it. Sometimes she'd hear her foster parents. She heard them getting in and out of the other car, coming back from running errands and such. Part of her punishment she supposed. They usually did as little as possible. She was so damn cold. She couldn't feel anything anymore. The shivering had stopped a while ago. That's always a bad sign. But she welcomed the cold. Her shallow breathing made the acrid smell of ammonia less potent.

Without a doubt this was the worst Christmas break ever. From the beginning. The day after break started they revoked her phone privileges for back talking. She hadn't talked to Seeley for almost a week now. By now he would be visiting family in Maine. She knew he called for her, what her foster parents said to him she didn't know. He had only called twice since then.

She wondered what he would do if he knew she was locked in this trunk. If she had been paying attention she wouldn't even be here. She had been thinking about how much she had missed him while standing over the sink while recover from her latest argument with her foster parents over something she could only remember as petty. Her foster father had thrown her into the kitchen yelling at her to get the kitchen done. She should have been thinking about the dishes, instead she was lamenting at how long it would be before she got to see him again. She didn't know that the water would be so hot. As soon as her hand hit it her autonomic system took over and her hand flew away from the scalding water and the plate slipped from her grip. The wince turned into a gasp as she tried to rescue the plate before it hit the ground. Nothing in this house was to get broken, or you will be punished. It was a firmly established rule.

All other sounds receded from her as the plate shattered and the pieces skid in every direction across the floor. The footsteps of her foster father were even louder. She stood frozen over the plate. She was petrified. Her foster father appeared in the entryway of the kitchen looking absolutely venomous. She looked up at him and began apologizing profusely. What else could she do? When he advanced on her she tried backing away but his strides were too big for her to be able to get any significant distance between them.

"You little spiteful bitch!" He bellowed at her. "What did we tell you about breaking our things? "Come on, let's go" He said yanking her arm, dragging her, protesting, across the floor

"No!" She screamed finally pulling her arm free and running in whichever direction would get her away from him. Within moments she felt his hand around her arm again stopping her and throwing her against the nearest wall. Her breath flew out of her and she fell to the ground. He straddled her, sneering at her that she was a worthless piece of shit. Her vision blurred as her eyes filled with tears, she couldn't even think to not give him the satisfaction and her vision began to darken around the blurring.

* * *

When she awoke other than being cold, she felt fine. She always thought that heaven would be brighter, and that hell would be a little hotter. She came to the conclusion that it was neither warm enough nor bright enough for either, so she couldn't be dead. That's when she heard the garage door open the first time and her mind deduced that she was in the trunk of the car.

She felt the pull of unconsciousness. She shouldn't sleep. But the thought of never waking up again seemed so appealing at this moment. Then she thought about Seeley, He would be back soon, and Christmas break would be over soon, she would see him again. At the thought she willed her mind to stay awake, but it was having none of it. She just hoped that she would actually wake up.

* * *

She definitely woke up. When her foster mother finally opened the trunk everything overwhelmed her. The smells, but mostly the sunlight that bombarded her overly sensitive eyes. Her vision swam and she had to take a moment to squelch the nausea threatening her. Her foster mother helped her out of the car trunk and held her steady until she was sure she could stand on her own. She told her to go wash up and change her clothes. It was the gentlest she had ever heard her foster mother, for a reason unbeknownst to Temperance it comforted her beyond words and when she looked into her eyes she saw something akin to remorse. As she looked back to her prison she noted that her foster father had the foresight to put plastic sheeting under her. "How thoughtful" she thought sarcastically.

In the bathroom she looked at her reflection and felt the nausea from earlier rising again. Her hair was matted slightly from dried blood from a superficial cut on her forehead. She was pale as a newt and she didn't know how long she was in that trunk but it she was a lot thinner and she was thin in the first place. She looked like a ghost. She turned away from the mirror quickly. Apparently too quickly and she ran for the toilet dry heaving. Once the retching had stopped she sat at the edge of the tub trying to cool herself from throwing nothing up. She stripped and grabbed the razor sitting on top of her fresh clothes and sat on the toilet. She pressed it to the inside of her leg watching as the crimson flooded from her body. Feeling the euphoria take over she sat back against the back of the toilet. Sometimes she missed this feeling. She hadn't done this is so long. Since Seeley asked her not to… Tears sprang to her eyes again as she looked down at her leg. She let the tears fall clearing her vision and she looked down at her arm hoping against hope that the butterflies she drew only a few days ago had rubbed off completely. She felt like sobbing when she saw the wings of one still there. The only thought she had as she stood under the spray of the shower washing off the injudiciousness of her punishment was that she had let him down.


	12. Chapter 12

A.N: I can't even tell you how fucking sorry I am this took so long. It's disgusting. Chapter 13 will be up either tomorrow or the day after... or maybe Friday because... Well again life is handing out bullshit to me and my family. So I'm really excited to be continuing this I hope you guys enjoy this chapter.

Disclaimer: Clearly not mine.

* * *

B&B

When Butterflies Die: Chapter 12

She opened her eyes to the bright light of the hallway and the voice of her foster mom who was standing silhouetted in the doorway.

The thought of school made her want to cover her head and hide but the thought of staying in the house made her want to get out of bed as quickly as possible. She sat up and winced at the pain the simple action caused. Briefly she lamented the loss of moving about easily. Grabbing her clothes and heading for the bathroom she ignored, if not reveled in, the pain in her leg.

She turned on the tap testing the temperature with her hand until she was satisfied with it. As she undressed ignoring the cuts along the inside of her thigh became very nearly impossible. When she lowered her pants the scabs became visible and while the pain last night was damn near euphoric looking at the wounds now just made her a little queasy. She had promised Seeley that she wouldn't hurt herself. She was ashamed that she had broken her promise to him and today she would have to face him, she wasn't even sure she could look him in the eyes.

Her thoughts were interrupted by an insistent and rather dreadful tugging. Her pajama bottoms were fused to one of the scabs. She pulled at it gingerly until it came free but the cut on her leg had started bleeding again. She had cut herself pretty deep, deeper than she normally would, but then the emotional pain is what it reflected, wasn't it? It was only right it went deeper than the surface. She recoiled at the water hitting her leg giving it time to adjust before she actually began her shower.

She pulled the skirt over her legs. She opted for a skirt over jeans or even her looser pants. The thought of material unnecessarily agitating her wounds quickly nixed the idea. Today, as much as she had missed him, she would try to avoid Seeley Booth as long as possible.

* * *

Booth jumped in his seat, snapping out of his reverie and looking at his scowling teacher. Obviously his inattention was not lost upon his teacher. Judging by the expectant look on her face she was waiting for an answer to a question he hadn't even heard she asked, he simply apologized and waited for her to move on.

Usually he would see Temperance at least once before school started. A hint of her across the commons or something, but this morning he, along with everyone else, hadn't seen even a glimpse of her. She was always at school early and the thought of her not being there was unsettling. He had missed her. Of course and while seeing his other friends was nice, he really, really wanted to see her. Ask her about her break among other things.

Seeley was glad to be out of that class. It was boring, and he couldn't see what art would possibly do for him in the future.

"Hey, lover boy, your girlfriend is at her locker." His buddy, Darrel, said catching up to him. Seeley sighed and looked at him grateful for the information but annoyed with its delivery.

"Look, she's not my girlfriend, ok?" This wasn't middle school. Why can't a guy just have a friend that's a girl? Sheesh.

"Coulda fooled me with all the asking around and the far away looks." Seeley slowed and looked at him in annoyance.

"Don't you have somewhere else to be, Darrel?" He said in a dismissive tone and shaking his head as head as he Darrel took the hint and waked away from him. It wasn't like the thought had never crossed his mind. People threw the idea at him. But above that she was beautiful and she was funny (when she wanted to be). He wasn't sure he had ever been as close to anyone else as he was to her, but he was happy to just be her friend.

He snuck up behind her waiting until her book bag was situated so he wouldn't get hit and ruin the surprise. Putting his face as close to her ear without alerting her to his presence he whispered "Hello, Temperance"

She jumped with a hand to her heart before turning around to him. "Seeley!" she said trying to sound stern but it didn't reach her eyes. The stern look fell off her face replaced by a smile. "Hey!" she said before leaning in to hug him. Her arms went around his neck tightly and his wrapped around her waist just as tightly. He couldn't help but think they'd have to do this more often as he felt her put her head in the crook of his neck briefly before she pulled back slowly.

He laughed a little as he looked down at her "Did you miss me?" He teased lightly.

"No." Ok, the fact that she didn't have to think about it hurt a little bit.

"Oh, come on. A little." She cocked her head to the side trying to hold a serious look and failing.

"Ok. A little" She said smiling at him. "How was your break?" She asked as they started walking.

"It was… interesting. There was a lot more family than I remember, and my dad showed up for a couple of hours." Temperance turned her head to him with a questioning look.

"How'd that go?"

"Fine. As of right now I have nothing to say to him. Jared talked to him a little bit, I know he misses him so… it was good for him." He said his voice getting lower as he spoke. "How about you?" he said perking up a little with the thought hers might have been more than interesting.

She had been hoping to avoid this but she had stupidly started the discussion. Surely the question would have been asked sooner or later but she didn't have to make it sooner. He noticed her hesitation "Tempe?"

"It was fine. Certainly, I've had better, but I guess considering my predicament that's to be expected right?" She said looking away from him.

"No. You should have had a good break. I'm sorry." He said genuinely.

"It's fine, I can compartmentalize."

He gave her a sad look before gesturing to the tables that littered the commons. "Can we sit down?" Panic shot through her, sitting would definitely make her uncomfortable.

"Um… I'd rather walk." She said as nonchalantly as she could muster.

"But… "He tried to protest.

"You have all next period to sit. I'd rather walk." His eyebrows went up slightly and he pinned her with a scrutinizing stare. His hands moved down slowly from his book bag straps to her hands and he pulled them up quickly and studying them. The butterflies were gone. There were remnants of them in the tiny creases of her skin but beyond that there was nothing left of them. Since He had drawn them on she had traced them everyday not daring to let them go away, but they were gone.

He looked up into her eyes. They were misted over with tears and those tears were threatening to spill over and right then he knew for certain.

She had killed her butterflies.

B&B

* * *

Review. Or don't. It's up to you (I hope you do though =D)


	13. Chapter 13

My longest chapter yet and I got it up before Friday! Ok so I reuploaded my earlier chapters but I don't know if they are all fixed up because I didn't read them. I refuse. I'm scared. So if you guys see mistakes feel free to tell me. =D. Maybe a few more chapters left to this one. or maybe 1 or maybe more than a few. dk yet. but enjoy!

Disclaimer: not not mine. not not mine.

* * *

B&B

When Butterflies Die: Chapter 13

"Please don't be angry with me." She looked pleadingly at him. It was hard enough dealing with her foster parents but having him upset with her too…

He didn't say anything, he just stood there staring at her.

"Please." She was begging now, the tears falling. Normally Temperance Brennan wasn't one to beg, but right now she didn't feel normal. He finally opened his mouth to speak but his expression hadn't changed and he certainly wasn't happy with her.

"I am-"He started to say but the bell sounding the end of Eagle Time rang out over him. She stood up straighter, afraid of what he was going to say. If he was angry with her maybe it was better she didn't know, maybe walking away from the potential heartache now was better than waiting for the blow, and maybe it was time she rebuilt her defenses where it concerned Seeley Booth.

Before Seeley could even get a word in she had squared her shoulders. "I have to get to class." She told him curtly turning and walking quickly away from him.

"Temperance!" He yelled out after her only getting responses from other students. Sighing he headed towards his own class. He wanted to go after her, wanted to make sure she was ok.

He felt like a fool. All he had to say was 'I'm not angry with you' but the words wouldn't come to him, all he could think of were long winded responses when all she needed were five little words. The desire to protect her seemed innate to him, the desire to keep her from pain and now he was causing it. It was going to be a long day.

* * *

Booth hadn't been able to focus all day. Since Temperance had walked away from him he hadn't been able to get his mind to focus on anything but her.

He pulled to a stop, sitting in back in the seat. Girls. He had been with a lot of them and they were all different, but none as different as this one. She had him wrapped around her finger and she hadn't even tried. Perhaps that's why he was so enamored. The girls at the school practically fell at his feet, there was no real challenge with them, but looking up at the modest house, white with brown trim and a smorgasbord of outdated, sun-bleaches children's toys on the dying lawn (If you could call the dirt with a few patches of dying grass that) he thought maybe there was something more to it than her being a challenge.

He knocked firmly on the door, waiting anxiously as he heard footsteps getting closer to the door. The door swung open revealing what Seeley could only assume was her foster mother. She looked worse than she sounded on the phone her straw-like hair pulled back way too tightly.

"Um, Hi. I'm looking for Temperance, is she here?" The woman looked him up and down briefly, inspecting him.

"And who are you?" She asked snippily. God, he hoped this wouldn't get her in trouble.

"Seeley Booth. Temperance tutors me." He explained.

"Ah, yes. I can see why. That can't possibly be all she does with you…" He felt his face redden, and not with embarrassment. He thought about giving her a snarky remark, one to bring her back down to a level she needed to be on, one far below Temperance, but he had a feeling that would only fare badly for Temperance as well as his chances to see her.

"I assure ma'am, it is." He replied tightly, giving a fake smile. His eyes travelled to the stair behind her seeing her come down the stairs. When she saw him shock ruled her features before she steeled them and turned away from him fully intending on going the opposite direction, but her foster mom had seen her before she could make her escape.

"Temperance. Don't be rude. Surely you recognize your guest." Her shoulders slumped and a small sigh escaped her before she turned and walked determinedly to the door thanking Cynthia, a decent name for someone quite the opposite.

"What?" She said coolly. She was upset with his still. You'd think her studious avoidance of him for the rest of the day would give that away but that was nothing compared to the look she was giving him now.

"I have an assignment that I'm having trouble with, I need your help." She stared blankly at him. "You are still my tutor aren't you?" He said in a halfway teasing voice. She stared at him for a few seconds longer, trying to tell what he was really there for. He thought she was going to tell him to go away but she huffed out a breath and turned to Cynthia silently asking permission.

"Mark is home at 8 and if you don't wanna be in trouble I suggest you get home and get your chores done before then." She said walking away. Temperance grabbed a jacket from the hanger by the door pulling it on as she walked past him. He jogged past her to the car and opening the door for her to get in knowing she wouldn't have allowed it had she gotten there first.

"I'm perfectly capable of opening my own door, Seeley." She told him with 'tude. Standing outside the door refusing to get in without a stare down. Which he would win. Even if he had to cheat. Fortunately she relented and got in grabbing the door and closing it on her own.

"This is your car?" She asked as he settled into his seat, with less venom than she had previously. She knew he drove sometimes, on the days his 'Pops' didn't have work, which was a rare occasion.

"Well…" He said drawing it out as he started the engine. "Technically, no. But it has been promised to me." He turned to her with a smile. She accepted his answer, turning to look out the window.

"So.. How was your day?" He asked nonchalantly, She turned slightly and eyed him from the corner of her eye before turning her eyes to the windshield. "Ok." He said in surrender.

Silence reigned until he pulled into the deserted park. Apparently the only partly sunny day didn't bring many young citizens to the steel jungle. He shut off the engine getting out of the car and rounding it to sit on the hood, waiting for her. She looked back to the backseat where his backpack was resting on the seat before opening the door and getting out herself.

"I thought you had homework?" She said practically yelling.

"I lied."He said calmly. "No one gives homework on the first day back, it's just wrong."

"You lied to me?" Wow, she really was not happy he mused as he started towards the bench, patting beside him as he sat down.

"Yes." He could see his calm was frustrating her and he also knew she wouldn't be sitting down. Might as well jump in head first. "You know… you walked away so fast this morning I didn't even get the chance to tell you I wasn't angry. Maybe disappointed but not angry. And then I didn't see you for the rest of the day…" He looked up to her to see she was on the verge of crying again. She sat down heavily beside him glancing at him. He could see she was trying desperately to hold tears back. HE could also see she was failing. He placed his hand on her back hoping that would soothe her but she put her head in her hands and started crying in earnest. He was at a loss as to what to do. Normally at a time like this he would fumble for an excuse, a lie of some sort, tuck tail and run but this was important to him. Because it was important to her and she was important to him. But it being important didn't make him know comfort her.

* * *

The hand on her back started moving up and down in a comforting motion but she couldn't seem to stem the flow of her tears. Or her words. And she so desperately wanted to. He probably didn't even know what she was saying, he words were choppy and her thoughts themselves were discombobulated and they were stringing together with no coherency. So much for compartmentalization. But he had to know the reason behind it. She needed him to know why. His hand stopped momentarily when she told him her punishment. She could feel his eyes on her but she couldn't look at him. There'd be nothing but pity, or sadness or disgust maybe, nothing she wanted to see though. It was her fault it happened anyway.

She felt her hands being pulled away from her face and her body being crushed to his both his hands working up and down her back and his voice telling her it was ok and it wasn't her fault in her ear. She really wanted to believe him.

She pulled out of his embrace looking into his eyes finally and all those things she was afraid to see there weren't there, just understanding. She wiped at her eyes and nose, trying to remove all evidence of her breakdown.

"I'm sorry." She said almost sheepishly.

"Don't worry about it." He said sincerely then pulled out a pen dramatically out of his pocket smiling, making her smile in return. They turned around on the bench where she rested her arm palm side up on the table. The butterfly he drew this time was a lot bigger, at least double the size of the last one, she looked at him amusedly.

"What are we?" She searched his face, looking for the answer she was supposed to give.

" I mean are we…. Acquaintances? Student. Teacher?" He paused fleetingly "Friends?"

Still she didn't know what answer he wanted to hear but she thought they were past acquaintances and she was sure regular students didn't draw butterflies on their teacher's wrists.

"Friends?" She replied rather uncertainly. She didn't want to seem presumptuous but he smiled at her and went back to his drawing so she must have gotten it right. She leaned over trying to get a look at her wrist before he finished but all she could see past his hand was an "ley" across one of the butterfly's wings. She turned her head to study his face, to see what was there. He lifted his head to tell her he was finished but the words died halfway out of his lips. It was unexpected for them both, the closeness. Her breathing went shallow and his eyes travelled to her lips. Her eyes fluttered shut as she followed him into the kiss. He stopped just shy of their lips touching, wanting her to decide. Her eyes opened and she pulled back quickly. He opened his eyes to see her staring at him, her face flushed. She was flustered to say the least, and he was a little embarrassed. He turned back to her arm quickly.

"So you know how once you name something it's harder to kill it?" He asked and she nodded in the affirmative, she assumed giving something a name would create a stronger emotional attachment to something. "Well now he has a name, sorry I couldn't think of a better one." She looked down to her wrist seeing his name going across both wings of the butterfly.

"I think it's a nice name." She said approvingly.

"I gave it a name but… You're the only person who can stop you." She stared at her wrist a little longer. He was right, in the end it was her decision, nothing and no one was forcing her into putting the razor to her skin and no one was keeping her from stopping. No one except herself.

Seeley looked down at his watch. 6:23. He smiled at her again. "I should get you back." He said somberly. The thought of taking her back to that place was almost making him physically sick. He knew what it was like to be scared of his own home. "Come on." He said hold his hand out for her help her twist her legs out from underneath the table.

They walked back to the car silently him getting there first and opening the door again getting an eye roll from her.

Turning out onto the road to take her home driving for a while before he noticed a wondering look on her face.

"Penny for your thoughts?" He smirked.

"Do you actually have a penny?" She sounded serious but he could see the mirth in her eyes. He looked around his car while simultaneously trying to keep his eyes on the road looking for a penny. Shouting an "Ah ha!" when he finally found one handing it over.

"How did you know where I live?"

"Tempe. Come on! I'm a popular, good looking guy. I can get almost anything I want." He said with very little modesty, considering it was true. He didn't know whether to smile in good humor or wonderment when she burst out laughing, but it didn't matter because soon he was laughing with her.

The laughter died down when he turned onto her street and the somber mood took back over. He kind of wanted to hug her again and not let go. To not let her go back into that house, but he had to. She sat in her seat a while, not looking at the house. Finally she turned to him, not making eye contact, her smile completely gone. "Thank you, Seeley."

He put his hand on her knee across the middle console. "Hey. "He said gaining her attention, her eyes connecting with his "You're going to be ok."He said genuinely believing it. He was, after all. She nodded turning and looking at the house.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" He said trying to sound chipper for her.

"Yeah" she said not quite catching the mood herself. "Goodnight, Seeley." He watched her get out and walk quickly to the door, only looking back once she was inside the threshold about to close the door, giving his a small smile before she pushed it closed.

He huffed out a breath thinking about her and the kiss they'd almost shared before starting off back to his house.

B&B

* * *

Good or no? I guess the fact that I enjoyed writing it is all that matters. (lol).


	14. Chapter 14

AN: OK. Author's note time. If you don't care feel free to move along to the story. I have had this chapter finished for a while but I had to get a new computer since my last one crapped out on me then I found it only had wordpad and notepad so that doesn't translate well to , I finally downloaded OpenOffice so now here we are. I think I have 1 chapter left of this because I'm working on something else and want to focus my attention. So... Back to the story...

Disclaimer: Any recognizable characters or places are not mine.

* * *

When Butterflies Die: Chapter 14

Temperance stood awkwardly inside of his back door. She wasn't used to visiting other people's houses, she wasn't often invited. It was obvious that it was a house that belonged to men. The decorations were dark and masculine and there were areas of clutter but it wasn't dirty. She looked over to her right where he had run off to to try and find some snacks for them. He told her on the way here that he wasn't used to company.

Seeley came back around the corner then. "Hey, you ok? You haven't moved an inch."

She nodded "I'm fine. Your house is nice." She said sincerely but also in an attempt to deflect attention off of her.

He accepted her compliment but still looked skeptical of her answer about herself. "Okay. If you want to you can put your things in my room while I make us a snack. It's up the stairs the first door on your right."

She nodded and re-situated her pack on her shoulder and grabbing the things they'd need for their science project. She couldn't say she was shocked when he picked her to be his partner over his other friends in the classed but she was pleasantly startled when he sat next to her.

They had become pretty much inseparable. Every spare moment they had they tended to find each other, intentional or not. She found solace in knowing that she had a friend though. Seeley knew that being her friend wasn't his most sound choice being high-school-royalty but she was grateful he stuck it out with her. It made it much easier not to run when the girls prodded her in the locker room. And it always turned to them, they wanted all the information they could get and underneath the sweet voices and forced compliments were viscous girls out for blood. Hers specifically. Some days she would lay in her bed and cry quietly and breath deeply but the butterflies were always on her wrist and they always had his name in them now. When it got to be too much she'd just hold her hand above her face and stare at the drawing and wait for the feeling to pass.

She came to the top of the stairs turning to her right. It really was a beautiful house. Dark wood floor surrounded the hole in the floor where the stairs were 2 doors on each side of the railing and a large window on the back wall. She stopped in front of Seeley's room opening the door. She walked into the room throwing her things by the dresser that was just inside the door. She looked around his room, there was a lot of sports memorabilia and a few pictures, and a few clothes strewn about. She went and sat on his bed to wait for him to wait for him the smell of him wafting around her making her smile until an odd feeling tightened her gut. Her smile dropped and a confused look came over her features. She knew the feeling. It was the same feeling she got when they got lost in one of their moments and they leaned into each other just a little too much, only this time it wasn't as intense or accompanied my the unusually pulsating pressure that made her cross her legs as tightly as possible.

He walked in with a plate of food setting it down between them on the bed as he sat next to her. "Hey. scuse the mess. I'm not used to... well you know." He said smiling and trying not to sound like a broken record as he picked up his clothes and threw them in a hamper.

"Yeah." She replied around some of the food in her mouth. "

Pops and Jared are excited to meet you. Pops thinks it's 'interesting' you're the first of my friends that I've incited over" He laughed.

"Should I be honored by that or are you up to something?" She asked laughing herself and Seeley smiled then chuckled before growing serious. He had been wanting to tell her about his childhood for a while. He had never met someone who he'd feel would understand and not treat any differently once they found out because she understood. And she needed to know there was some one who understood her. He cleared his throat and Temperance must have felt the mood shift because her smile faded too.

"When I was younger... my dad. He uh... He would drink. A lot. and sometimes, you know, he got so drunk he wouldn't care. He'd come home and find any excuse, any reason, and one of us would get hit. Mostly me and my mom, we protected Jared as much as possible but sometimes..." He still felt guilty about the times he couldn't protect them. "My mom, I tried to protect her too but she tried to be strong for me, but after a while it really broke her down and after my dad left she couldn't really be there for us anymore because she wasn't whole anymore." He knew she had trouble with metaphor. He asked her for her understanding and when he got an affirmative he continued. "She thought Pops would be better for us because she couldn't do it anymore." He finished his story and kept his eyes away from hers, in case he was wrong about her understanding him.

He felt his hand on his arm and he looked up to her eyes and beyond the sheen of tears was an understanding and an acceptance. He smiled at her then said softly. "So in answer to your question. No. I'm up to something. You're just the only person I've trusted enough." How her eyes filled with more tears without them actually falling over was beyond him but they did. She pulled her hand back in an attempt to remove it from his arm but his hand was faster and held her there without ever breaking eye contact. She resigned her hand to staying there. She didn't know what to say to that. Someone having that much trust in her was new. And scary. But he had just told her something he had never told anyone.

"I'm honored." She said just as quietly as he had been taking. It turned into another one of those moments. Seeley knew she would pull back, she always did. The fear of what would happen next always paralyzed her and she never took the plunge. He hoped one day she would. He could see the exact moment every time it happened.

"You know, Jared thinks you're my girlfriend. And unless you want to give him some good news we should get to work." He said with a smirk. Whether it was her not backing down from a challenge or genuine curiosity he didn't know but her next question surprised him a little.

"Would it be good news." He was setting up the utensils for them to begin their project stopping very briefly as he heard the question.

"Yes, of course." He said without looking up from what he was doing until he was finished asking "Shall wee get started?" She nodded and sat but not before she could hide the smile she was donning.

* * *

Seeley and Temperance were startled to silence when his bedroom door flew open and Seeley's little brother ran in. "Seeley!" Jared yelled jumping over the two teenagers laying on the floor recover from their laughing fit. Booth sighed as his brother jumped on his bed "Your girlfriend is pretty." Temperance turned a deep shade of red at the compliment.

"Yes, she is. But she's not my girlfriend Jared. You know that." He didn't know if denying that made this more or less awkward. For about 7 minutes Jared made sure everything he said included "Your girlfriend" someway or another. Booth was just about to lose it on his brother especially when he started on with "Seeley and Temperance sittin' in a tree." But lucky for him Pops took that moment to come in.

"Jared." He said. The 11 year old's song wilted and a look of shame crossed his face, but both older Booth boys knew it was just to escape trouble.

"I just remembered I have homework." Jared said walking past his grandfather standing in the door before poking his head back through. "Seeley, you'll remember to bring your girlfriend to say goodbye to me before you take her home, right?" Seeley's face tightened in frustration.

"Jared. Out!" He said in a commanding tone and Seeley shook his head as he heard him laughing all the way to his bedroom before shutting the door. Temperance had stood up and was standing slightly behnd. Seeley, nervous of meeting his grandfather, but when his eyes met hers she stood stood firmly extending her hand to his.

"Hi, Mr. Booth. My name is Temperance." She introduced herself.

"I know, Seeley's told me a bit about you. You can call me Hank, sweetheart. Jared's right. You are quite the looker." She turned red again. At the compliment and the fact Seeley talked to his grandfather about her.

"Thank you... Hank." She said coyly.

"Well if you two are there's food downstairs on the table." Booth looked at her in askance. In her slight nervousness she looked around, her eye catching the window and realizing that it was much later than she had realized.

"I'm sorry. I can't. I have to get home." Seeley looked out the window and automatically understood. He nodded turning back to his grandfather.

"Pops, can I borrow the car?" The sooner he got her home the better. Pops nodded 'yes' looking a little perplexed at the hurry. Temperance thanked him and said her farewells as Booth led her down the stairs and grabbing the keys off the hook. Jared ran up to them.

"You're leaving already?" He said in a weirdly sad tone

"She's gotta get home, buddy." He explained as Temperance nodded her head.

"But I just got here. Is it 'cause of me?" He asked sincerely hoping he hadn't scared of his brother's friend.

"No, Jared, I just have to be home at a certain time." She told him. Not really a lie. Jared nodded.

"Will you come back?"

"I hope so." She had never been good with people younger than her but when Jared perked up at her answer she felt a sense of an odd sort of pride washing through her.

She gave him a hug, smiling as she waved goodbye to him. She missed the coziness of their home as soon as the thought of going back to hers hit her. Seeley threw his arm around her shoulders pulling her into his side. The cool springy air did nothing to combat the warmth she felt then.

* * *

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it.


	15. Chapter 15

**Ok, so here it is. The last chapter. In te end I wanted it a little different but I guess I'm satisfied with it.**

**Disclaimer: We all know that their not mine. That's probably a good thing too.**

* * *

Temperance and Seeley walked across the commons of the school. Booth was regretting his decision to wear such a heavy jacket this morning. When he had walked outside that morning it was brisk but now the sun was beating on him, and the jacket was definitely a mistake. He looked don a Temperance wondering if she was nettled by the heat as well but she just looked deep in thought.

Seeley had gotten to know her well over this school year, and she him. He had told her things that he had never told anyone before, In under a year she had gained more trust from him than anyone in his entire life. But as the months got warmer he could feel her retreating into herself again, he hadn't asked her about it, but it worried him.

"Is it hot to you too?" He asked unzipping his jacket trying to cool down. She looked at him briefly and nodded before turning her eyes back to before her.

"Hey." He said trying to gain her attention. "What's up? She looked more toward the sky exhaling a breath.

"Have you chosen yet?" She asked completely foregoing any segues. She had always felt that beating around the bush was a waste of time and words anyway.

"Ahhh. No. I thought maybe you and I could discuss it... together, ya know?" He explained suddenly nervous.

"Why?" She asked like it was the oddest thing in the world, him asking for her input.

"Well, You're kind of the reason that I have the offers, I mean, I wouldn't have gotten even one scholarship offer without you."

Brennan gave him an odd look. "This should be your decision. My thoughts, preferences, or feelings should have no bearing on what school you choose to go to." She said sensibly.

"Well, I'd like to know your thoughts, preferences, and feelings on the subject." Maybe she didn't understand that her opinion was important to him.

"Would they influence your decision in anyway?" She looked at him steadily.

"Of course they would. I care about your opinion." his brows pushed together briefly, maybe it wasn't as important to her where he went as it was to him. Temperance Brennan felt feelings were fleeting and ephemeral, therefore, untrustworthy, but he had at least hoped that their friendship would have brought some in her, was it too much to hope she didn't want him to leave her as much as he didn't want to.

"Then, no. I will give you an objective evaluation of both schools but I want you to go to the school you want to go to." Booth didn't know what else to say, she wasn't budging.

"Ok" He gave up. She fell silent again. He had initiated conversation with her all morning, she hadn't tried once. He wanted to know what she thought. "AU is further."

"Well, You'd be living on campus. That shouldn't be a factor."

"Of course it should be! Don't you want me to come visit you?" He said in a teasing voice but completely serious. She looked more than a little shocked by the question. Did she think he just planned on leaving and and never looking back? He considered her his best friend. He had never told her that though.

"Would you?" /She asked meekly, very much unlike her.

"Yes. You, Jared, and Pops. I'd like to come visit you all." She smiled at that. The first time all day. He suddenly had the feeling that her withdrawal was in preparation for something that he had no intention of doing. Leaving her. He hated the thought of that being what she had to protect from losing people she loved and who loved her and that she knew how to do so at the drop of a dime.

She stopped walking then and turned to him. She was searching his face her eyes moving back and forth over his face. She had to be sure that what she saw was true. That she could trust him. She knew that over the months something had grown between them, but she was unsure of the strength. But what she saw was unwavering and she just hoped that she judged his sincerity correctly.

"I want to tell you something." She said looking into his eyes for any changes of his metaphorical heart.

"Okay." He watched her sit at one of the tables before taking her lead and sitting beside her. She was nervous. She pulled up her sleeve, and she briefly saw disappointment flash in his eyes before he sent a questioning glance at her.

"I was doing the dishes and Mark came in. My hand were shaking and he came over and whispered in my ear that I know what'll happen if I drop another one, only this time it will be worse. I... um.. I tried to ignore him, to focus on the chore. I couldn't go through that again." Her eyes begged him to understand. She needed someone to understand, someone not to judge her.

"I just couldn't, but Mark got angry, really upset, that I didn't acknowledge him and he grabbed my wrist out of the water and yelled at me asking if I heard him. I didn't answer him and he grabbed my wrist tighter. It hurt and I tried to pull away from him but he was too strong and I was tired of it, you know? So I tried to hit him but he caught my wrist. He was already angry that I tried to hit him but when he saw the butterflies... He was livid. He started yelling at me and screaming and calling me names. Then he turned the hot water on and put my arm under the faucet and started scrubbing them off. Then he pushed me to the ground and walked away." She took a deep breath and pushed away the threatening tears. She could see his rage building and put a calming hand on his arm.

"Then I went upstairs..." The tears were coming back again "And I grabbed my razor and a towel and I sat down, I put it to my skin and a pressed lightly. She had never told him details before and he vaguely wished she wouldn't begin now, but if she wanted to talk, no matter what she had to say, he would listen.

"And then I took a deep breath... and then another, and then another, and then I put the razor down." Seeley's eyes held hers, looking for the truth in her eyes. She smiled at him.

"I couldn't do it. I thought about how I feel afterward and I don't want to feel that feeling anymore. And I have you to thank for that." She said tearfully. His silly grin slipped a little.

"No, Temperance. You have yourself to thank for that, you did it, not me." She shook her head no. She understood that in the end it was her decision to make but she wouldn't have made that decision without him, and she was grateful for that. She cared about herself because he cared about her.

Seeley's huge grin was back, he couldn't help it. He pulled he into a hug. "I'm so proud of you." He whispered in her ear. She pulled back looking shocked. It hadn't been a great amount of time since she'd heard the words, but it had been long enough that she craved them. He held her gaze steady. He didn't notice that she was leaning into him until she had stopped just short of his lips in hesitation.

"It's okay." He said comfortingly. Both sets of eyes fluttered closed at the contact. It was soft and sweet and she didn't want to pull back, but she did. He looked at her smiling.

"Does this mean that I'll have to come back and visit Jared, Pops, and... my girlfriend?" He asked, shyness and teasing lacing his voice. Temperance simply shrugged, before pressing a smile entwined kiss to his lips again, going deeper into it this time. Her arms rested around his neck as she pulled back.

"Just for the record, I dislike the term 'girlfriend'" She gave him a soft smile which he returned sweetly before leaning in to capture his 'girlfriend's' lips again.

* * *

**So in light of this being the end of this story well 1. I hope you enjoyed it. 2. depending on ow you'd define a relapse, I may or may not have had two during the course of this story, so what I want to say that if anyone needs to talk, about cutting or... anything... just to get something off your chest, I will listen. Somewhere near the beginning of this story I met someone to whom I will always be grateful because I got to talk to her through probably some of the toughest times of my life. So here is my extension of that to you. Again thank you for reading, and sticking through it with me =)**


End file.
